The Chain Gang

Lets talk about franchised food.

Me? I’m a support your local business gal in a do-or-die kinda way. Truly, I’m baffled by the devotion some folks have to a big-box branded meal.

Without question Toronto has an overabundance of first-rate, locally owned, gems. But that’s not what I’m going to talk about. I’m here today to tell you about franchised food.

I just spent the last week and a half on Southern American highways chowing-down big time. If your travels have ever taken you South of the border you’ll know The United States has got chain restaurants like we’ve got snow, and it got me to thinking about our own franchises.

Like you, I’ve dined at a strip-mall in a pinch, on the road, or with grandparents enough times to make an opinion. I’ve compiled a list of chain, sit-down style restaurants in Canada, along with notes and menu choices to help you along the highway.

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Swiss Chalet
When I was a kid my grandmother used to bring my cousins and I here at least once a month. I’d ceremonially order the children’s portion chicken-fingers and dunk those tender white meat strips in mouth-watering Chalet Sauce until stuffed. I’ve got some serious nostalgic urges for that sauce; but because the only downtown location I was aware of was at Bloor and Bathurst [RIP], Soon Tofu and Tacos El Asador instantly overpower the craving.

Red Lobster
The television commercials present a bounty of tumbling, juicy, larger than life shrimp and shellfish. What a disappointment, portions are small, over-priced and shabby. Rodney’s Oyster House at King just west of Spadina is slightly more pricey but well worth the added cost.

East Side Mario’s
You had me at unlimited bread and salad bowl with any entrée and bottomless fountain soda. Skip the mediocre pasta; if you’re like me, you’ll eat your $14 worth of crisp Italian garden salad if it kills you.
I say, if you’ve got a real hunger on and stuck in the burbs, hit it, but when they start singing happy birthday in phony New York Italian accents, run!

Mandarin
You know how folks introduce themselves on game shows by listing a few interests and their hometown? Well, once years ago while watching Wheel-Of-Fortune I witnessed this courageous, stout little woman announce “buffets” on her list of leisurely activities. I thought how wonderful, as I too have a less courageous yet earnest interest in all-you-can-eat.
Yep, Mandarin will do it.

Pizza Hut
Have you ever tried that stuffed-crust pizza? It’s like a hunk of medium warm string cheese covered in dough. I haven’t been back since.

Boston Pizza
These guys have been popping up like crazy the last couple of years. I have yet to test one out. But this I do know, my younger sister* was employed by one a couple of years ago at a location in or around Barrie and was, after a brief period “let go”, which gives me firm assurance in their food-safety practices. **

*My sister (bless her heart) is a really more of a people person.

**Jill says it's "pretty dece".

Kelsey’s
I had a grilled vegetable sandwich at one in Kitchener a couple years ago, I wasn’t mad at it. You’ve got a few healthy options and your dad or uncle can still get those spare ribs or hamburger.

Pickle Barrel
Their website announces the menu addition of two Ontario locally grown dinner entrees created by cookbook author Rose Reisman, Fruitland Chicken and Grilled Beef & Mushroom. Not bad.

The Keg
My dad really likes The Keg, your dad probably does too. Unless you’re treating your dad to lunch, I can’t see why you would ever dine here.

Golden Griddle
The breakfast is a 6, but only because of the Belgian Waffles.

Lick’s
The Nature Burger is the best veggie burger I have ever eaten in my life. The chicken gravy is nothing to laugh at either.

Other chains (in no particular order): Lone Star, Olive Garden, Outback Steakhouse, St. Hubert's, Casey's, IHOP, Denny's, Montana's, Shoeless Joe's, St. Louis', Sunset Grill, Milestone's.

Let us know if you've got anything to add.